So, here's my question. What is up with the dancing? I mean, did you see YellowPants BoobScarf? (I don't know their names, so I will call them by their clothing). How is that girl's back not broken by her badass moves? Also, is it just me or can StripeShirt Boyshorts not dance? Maybe you didn't notice because she was almost never on screen. And RedPants Corset, I understand you have long hair and it's sexy or whatever, but really, you're allowed to acknowledge that it is in your face and move it. You have my permission. Then there's Wonder Woman...all I can say about you is nice job being backup dancer and not bringing unnecessary attention to yourself. Your secret identity is still safe. Finally, the lead singer GrannyPanties XenaBra. Actually, she never really dances. She really hardly even moves. While the other girls are working so hard walking down all those stairs, she just gets lowered down on a platform. Then for that weird part where they all randomly start ascending to the heavens, the stage picks her up while the others had to find their seat behind her. (There's some religious imagery in there, but I'm going to avoid it)
So all in all, I'm going to say that, while entertaining, this just wasn't good. I almost miss the days of the Spice Girls. Of course, they weren't great either, but at least only a couple of them took on the role of whore. They were 5 individuals with distinct identities created for them by a record company. And they were dressed as their names so you knew who each one was. So I guess what we learn from this is that maybe not all that much has changed. Members of girl pop bands are still dressing like their names, except now they all have the same name, Whore.
So let us leave with a remembrance of a simpler time, before girls were whores or "mother" became a descriptor for any of the spices.
Girl Power!
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