Friday, March 28, 2008
Canadians? They're hilarious!
I have experienced the Canadian culture first hand, and cannot tell you how great they are with their politeness and adorable accents and the addition of "eh" to every sentence. It's just so gosh darn cute! But these two lovely people take things to a whole new level with this attempt at a commercial. Since I am a fan of the Canadians as a whole and this entertains me so much, I cannot be mean to them. So like I have done before, I will simply highlight my favorite parts:
"A video movie could improve your life." You know what would improve my life? Oh who am I trying to kid, definitely a video movie.
The amount of cuts in awkward places...like the middle of sentences.
They're advertising their video movie making skills while the background movies look like the Blair Witch Project.
"What about animation?" (The quality of that guy is just, ugh...unbelievably amazing!)
The Loch Ness monster swimming to The Sounds of Kentucky
Sharon's overwhelming enthusiasm throughout, but especially how excited she is that their anniversary is coming up, so they should make a video to send to Fred's mother and f-(check the cue card)-amily
"Who needs a movie?"...When you could have a VIDEO MOVIE!
Here's their website if you need a video movie for your fund raisers, birthday greetings, theatre or stage production, costume parties, family reunions, sporting events, prom night, a special evening out, or selling your house or RV. It's a great...idea!
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Who's Smarter Than a 5th Grader?
Clearly not the producers of this CNN Headline News segment about the sexual education program in California. Students will learn about STDs in 5th grade, rape and sexual assault in middle school, and birth control in high school. Don't get me wrong, I understand the use of stock footage to compliment a story, or in this case an interview, but you have to be careful about how this stuff lines up. Watch these clips, maybe you'll see what I mean. The full story is here.
Let's get some stats.
Guess what four little girls on the bench! One of you will get an STD!
What else will the kids be learning about?
Oh, puberty. That's ok. BUT WAIT! What the hell is happening at the end of this clip? Why does it look like this girl is about to be gang banged? GASP! Oh no, I can't talk about that! They can't learn about sexual assault until middle school!
So what are schools and parents to do?
Oh, decision making skills! Of course! Then why does it look like these kids are walking among conjugal visit trailers?
So can the kids protect themselves?
Something else? Like what? Meth? What is going on in those trailers?
Next week on Fox: Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader? Sex and Drugs Education Edition.
Yeah, you're right. The kids would probably win...
Let's get some stats.
Guess what four little girls on the bench! One of you will get an STD!
What else will the kids be learning about?
Oh, puberty. That's ok. BUT WAIT! What the hell is happening at the end of this clip? Why does it look like this girl is about to be gang banged? GASP! Oh no, I can't talk about that! They can't learn about sexual assault until middle school!
So what are schools and parents to do?
Oh, decision making skills! Of course! Then why does it look like these kids are walking among conjugal visit trailers?
So can the kids protect themselves?
Something else? Like what? Meth? What is going on in those trailers?
Next week on Fox: Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader? Sex and Drugs Education Edition.
Yeah, you're right. The kids would probably win...
Monday, March 10, 2008
Car trouble, eh?
This is a non-media related post, but I feel I must bestow upon you the story of my adventures that arose from what was supposed to be a simple spring break trip to visit family. Perhaps a solo 7 hour car trip through Canada to Michigan isn't simple, but I've driven longer so I figured I'd be fine. Plus, this family I was visiting (my aunt and uncle) is no obligatory visit; I couldn't wait to get there. I guess I should have seen the trouble brewing from a country away...
I wake up bright and early and hit the road at 8AM, and am making great time. I figure I'm about a couple hours away from MI and decide to go ahead and fill up the gas tank while I'm in Canada, hoping for a favorable exchange rate on the credit card bill. Of course I suspect nothing but the normal routine: get out, pump gas, get in, start car, go. Only, there was a slight snag in that fourth step. Oh, the minor one about where the car's supposed to start? Yeah. That one. Allow me to reenact the situation:
"..." said my car.
"Hmm. That's weird. I'll try again." said me as I turned the key again.
"..." my car replied, having zero reaction to my hopeful thinking.
"Shit." I said after about 9 more exchanges of the above interaction.
Then I take a couple breaths, calm down, and just decide that I'm the only one that can help myself. I go into the gas station and explain to the woman that my car won't start, she asks if I have CAA, I stare at her blankly, she asks if I have AAA, and then I say yes. So I call and they get a tow truck en route. I make phone calls. 1) My dad, 2) My uncle whose house I'm headed to, and 3) My friend at school because I needed a girl to cry to after being an adult.
She calms me down before the tow truck guy arrives. He proceeds to:
1) try the battery, with no result
2) try the starter, with no result
3) try suggestions from my uncle, with no result
4) conclude I must be towed to the Canadian Tire in Ingersoll
5) be the nicest guy in the world to me the entire time
Now I'm super worried because now it has to go to a shop, which has the potential to take the rest of my life to get it fixed. We get there and the tow truck driver talks to the guys in the shop to get me in ASAP. I go into the shop, give them my info, make more calls, same people, same order. Dad freaks out a little, uncle tells me he's already on his way to come get me should my car not be drivable (how amazing is he? for real), friend gives me the entire history of Ingersoll to cheer me up (to sum it up in one word, cheese).
The guys in the shop were amazingly super nice and tell me that they will absolutely get me back on the road today. They figure out the problem was the starter relay, which, apparently is a part in my car. They call a dealer, they have the part, it arrives within 5 minutes, they pop it in, problem solved. Total damage: $131 (Canadian), about 2 hours lost traveling time, knowledge of local Canadian small town culture, and proof to myself that I can handle my own shit.
After losing about another hour at the US border in the line of a guard who clearly hated his job, the world, and everyone in it, and who made me turn off my car, give him the keys, and pop my trunk, I finally made it to my destination, about 11 hours after I left. I then go on to have the most amazingly fun weekend with my aunt and uncle that actually made the whole car debacle just a distant, learning experience memory that I would happily repeat to have that much fun with them again.
Moral of the story: If you're ever in a jam, call a Canadian for help. They will be super nice and their accent is super adorable too. Lesson, learned.
I wake up bright and early and hit the road at 8AM, and am making great time. I figure I'm about a couple hours away from MI and decide to go ahead and fill up the gas tank while I'm in Canada, hoping for a favorable exchange rate on the credit card bill. Of course I suspect nothing but the normal routine: get out, pump gas, get in, start car, go. Only, there was a slight snag in that fourth step. Oh, the minor one about where the car's supposed to start? Yeah. That one. Allow me to reenact the situation:
"..." said my car.
"Hmm. That's weird. I'll try again." said me as I turned the key again.
"..." my car replied, having zero reaction to my hopeful thinking.
"Shit." I said after about 9 more exchanges of the above interaction.
Then I take a couple breaths, calm down, and just decide that I'm the only one that can help myself. I go into the gas station and explain to the woman that my car won't start, she asks if I have CAA, I stare at her blankly, she asks if I have AAA, and then I say yes. So I call and they get a tow truck en route. I make phone calls. 1) My dad, 2) My uncle whose house I'm headed to, and 3) My friend at school because I needed a girl to cry to after being an adult.
She calms me down before the tow truck guy arrives. He proceeds to:
1) try the battery, with no result
2) try the starter, with no result
3) try suggestions from my uncle, with no result
4) conclude I must be towed to the Canadian Tire in Ingersoll
5) be the nicest guy in the world to me the entire time
Now I'm super worried because now it has to go to a shop, which has the potential to take the rest of my life to get it fixed. We get there and the tow truck driver talks to the guys in the shop to get me in ASAP. I go into the shop, give them my info, make more calls, same people, same order. Dad freaks out a little, uncle tells me he's already on his way to come get me should my car not be drivable (how amazing is he? for real), friend gives me the entire history of Ingersoll to cheer me up (to sum it up in one word, cheese).
The guys in the shop were amazingly super nice and tell me that they will absolutely get me back on the road today. They figure out the problem was the starter relay, which, apparently is a part in my car. They call a dealer, they have the part, it arrives within 5 minutes, they pop it in, problem solved. Total damage: $131 (Canadian), about 2 hours lost traveling time, knowledge of local Canadian small town culture, and proof to myself that I can handle my own shit.
After losing about another hour at the US border in the line of a guard who clearly hated his job, the world, and everyone in it, and who made me turn off my car, give him the keys, and pop my trunk, I finally made it to my destination, about 11 hours after I left. I then go on to have the most amazingly fun weekend with my aunt and uncle that actually made the whole car debacle just a distant, learning experience memory that I would happily repeat to have that much fun with them again.
Moral of the story: If you're ever in a jam, call a Canadian for help. They will be super nice and their accent is super adorable too. Lesson, learned.
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
Why I voted in Ohio...
Here's what I love about where I vote in Ohio.
CNN talks about how the Southwest area is so Republican, but when they use their fancy technology to color in the counties of Ohio, something very interesting happens. See that lonely little blue county north of Cincinnati and west of Columbus? Pretty much the only blue county in the western half of the state? That's mine. That's where my vote counts. Maybe it didn't really matter in the last 2 elections as Ohio still went red, but I'm happy knowing that I did my part and at least my county was blue. And that's why I'll keep voting absentee, despite the cost.
As Ohio goes, so goes the nation. Hopefully, the blue counties like mine will lead Ohio and the nation in a new direction.
CNN talks about how the Southwest area is so Republican, but when they use their fancy technology to color in the counties of Ohio, something very interesting happens. See that lonely little blue county north of Cincinnati and west of Columbus? Pretty much the only blue county in the western half of the state? That's mine. That's where my vote counts. Maybe it didn't really matter in the last 2 elections as Ohio still went red, but I'm happy knowing that I did my part and at least my county was blue. And that's why I'll keep voting absentee, despite the cost.
As Ohio goes, so goes the nation. Hopefully, the blue counties like mine will lead Ohio and the nation in a new direction.
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