It's back friends! The happens-whenever-something-like-this-comes-up segment is back. And it's a doozy, inspired by an entry at Dlisted. Today's match-up:
Billy Mays vs. Vince the ShamWow Guy*Ding Ding*
Round 1: Yell-off. Let's be honest, Billy Mays would win hands down, no questions asked. Done.
Round 2: Sales pitch. Here's where Billy's trademark voice gets him in trouble. He's just so freaking annoying that I haven't heard the name of any product he's sold since OxyClean. Vince is still annoying, but at least he's not yelling at me. He wins this round.
Round 3: Appearing under the influence of drugs. Billy yells and sells like he's on crack and needs you to buy his product so he can get another fix. Yet Vince, with that face and pointy hair, could pass as some sort of cracked-out reptile. It's a close one, but I'm going to have to give the edge to Vince here because of how he rocks that headset. It's a TV commercial Vince. You don't need it. But he's wearing it anyway. There's no one on the other end except the voices of the infomercial gods. It adds that little extra crazy, so I'm giving this round to Vince too.
Round 4: Physical fight. You might be quick to jump to the conclusion that Billy would win because he's bigger. That might be true. He also has a larger array of products at his disposal he could use in a fight. BUT, Vince only needs his towel to absorb all those chemicals Billy's throwing at him. All Vince has to do is wait until Billy's out of ammo, then throw the ShamWow at him. With all the stuff that's in there something's bound to explode on impact. Even if it doesn't, the smell of those chemicals will kill him within seconds. (Vince would be fine. Remember? Cracked-out reptile. You think Amy Winehouse has any sense of smell left?) I'd give the edge to Vince.
We have a winner! Final score: Billy Mays 1-Vince 3
Feel free to argue, but I'm going to stick with it.
Round 1: Yell-off. Let's be honest, Billy Mays would win hands down, no questions asked. Done.
Round 2: Sales pitch. Here's where Billy's trademark voice gets him in trouble. He's just so freaking annoying that I haven't heard the name of any product he's sold since OxyClean. Vince is still annoying, but at least he's not yelling at me. He wins this round.
Round 3: Appearing under the influence of drugs. Billy yells and sells like he's on crack and needs you to buy his product so he can get another fix. Yet Vince, with that face and pointy hair, could pass as some sort of cracked-out reptile. It's a close one, but I'm going to have to give the edge to Vince here because of how he rocks that headset. It's a TV commercial Vince. You don't need it. But he's wearing it anyway. There's no one on the other end except the voices of the infomercial gods. It adds that little extra crazy, so I'm giving this round to Vince too.
Round 4: Physical fight. You might be quick to jump to the conclusion that Billy would win because he's bigger. That might be true. He also has a larger array of products at his disposal he could use in a fight. BUT, Vince only needs his towel to absorb all those chemicals Billy's throwing at him. All Vince has to do is wait until Billy's out of ammo, then throw the ShamWow at him. With all the stuff that's in there something's bound to explode on impact. Even if it doesn't, the smell of those chemicals will kill him within seconds. (Vince would be fine. Remember? Cracked-out reptile. You think Amy Winehouse has any sense of smell left?) I'd give the edge to Vince.
We have a winner! Final score: Billy Mays 1-Vince 3
Feel free to argue, but I'm going to stick with it.
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