Time is Running Out!!

Quick! Everybody! I hope you haven't spent all your holiday money already on day-after-Christmas sales because I have the perfect gift to yourself!

That's right friends. Just when we thought the void in our lives left by the absence of Sarah Palin couldn't be filled, now we can all have a little maverick every day for an entire year! I don't know what any of the monthly pictures are, but rifle-toting Palin on the cover is entertainment enough for me. Only 5 days left to order to get the maximum daily dose of the almost-but-not-quite Vice President! Order now!

I think we all earned a new puppy

I know I've made it no secret who I was rooting for in this election, and I've been pretty harsh on one certain VP candidate. However, on the day after all is said and done, I feel that everyone needs to acknowledge this one thing: history was made last night. Regardless of your opinions, we as Americans just witnessed something truly special. Doors were opened for so many people last night and our country will never be the same. Our children and their children will learn about this moment and we lived through it. This election made people of all ages excited to vote and people of all ages voted for the first time in their lives. It truly brought out the best in democracy and our country as a whole. Even though we were divided by politics, we were united by the process. I only hope that the level of involvement and excitement that people had yesterday remains for years and generations to come. Stay informed, stay involved, and no matter what your views, just vote. You can't be a part of history if you do nothing.

Holy cow it's not a Palin post!

Yes I'm not blogging about the gift from the political humor gods and instead will discuss a gift from people who work for another god. You know, the churchy one. Specifically, the Catholic one. I've noticed this has been another of my favorite topics as I have several "foods that look like religious figures" posts, and even one about the "abuse-themed coloring book" those awesome Catholics put out last year. Well, in case that coloring book wasn't enough for you, I just got this story from CNN.com.

First of all, I know you can't see it in the hyperlink text, but if you clicked on it and read the URL address, I think you'll see that the first problem is that CNN decided to code name this article "churchabuse.garden." Sweet. As for the content of the article itself, basically what happened is that a church in California has decided to atone for priests' sins by building a special garden dedicated to remembering the sexual abuse that so many children suffered.

Where did they build this garden you ask? Next to a church. Yeah. Great idea. I'm sure all the sex abuse victims will be clamoring to get to a church for their garden. They say they took the victims' feelings of discomfort at a church into consideration when building this garden, and that's why it isn't inside the church. This is also why one of the benches faces away from the church to overlook a lake. Ok, maybe it's just me, but if something terrible like that happened to me, sure I wouldn't want to look at a church, but don't think I'd want to have my back to a building populated by clergy either.

Also, they have a nice little plaque to remind everyone why this garden is there. Here is the inscription: "This healing garden, planned by survivors, is dedicated to those innocents sexually abused by members of the clergy. We remember, and we affirm: Never again." Again, maybe it's just me, but "never again" should mean never again, not "You sexually abused children, let's transfer you to a different parish instead of firing you and having you arrested." Also, it isn't so much the church apologizing as it is victims pushing to get something done because clearly, without them, the church would still be actively ignoring the problem.

Finally, this garden is on a rooftop next to the church! Regardless of how victims feel going there, this is just poor planning! A) What kid doesn't want to go on a rooftop? and B) Why is this place so secluded and with so many view-blocking bushes? I would hate to think that it would happen, I'm just saying it's set up pretty well to hide potentially criminal activities. God forbid.

I don't want this to end! (But really, it has to)

I thought I would just make a compilation of my top ten favorite Sarah Palin internet material (so far) not including the SNL opener and Sarah Palin as president website I posted earlier, which will be updated until Nov 4 so keep checking that second link.

10) The International Press confusing Tina Fey and Sarah Palin

9) Hunting with Palin

8) Bristol Palin (and her super uncomfortable shotgun fiancé)
7) Dress Up Sarah Palin

6) Disney Movie


5)Community Chest


4) "Shoo! Get back over there!"


3) "Increasingly adorable"


2) You don't even need writers!


1) Sentence Structure with Sarah

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D-I-V-O-R-C-E

That's what your stupid ass would be getting if you were married to me, idiot guy from CNN video.



I mean really, I can't even tell you how angry I would be if I was that woman. Maybe she won't be so mad if she is Republican, but if it were me, I think there are 2 things to address here.

1) What the hell are you thinking naming our child after candidates to be president and vice-president, the latter who is so clearly unqualified and a ploy for votes?
2) Who goes behind their spouse's back to name their child?

And how do you do that? Don't you need like signatures or something?

In sum, if this guy was my husband, I'm pretty sure he'd be doing a lot more than time on the couch. He would be gone until he filed the paperwork to change the name to Ava Grace like it's supposed to be.

Is there anything Sarah Palin can't make funny?

Besides the fact that she might be president of course. That's just terrifying. But I have to say that this website (thank you Mitch!) is probably a fairly accurate representation of what the Madame President's office would look like. Please, just click on everything in there, and click many things more than once because her response changes (the globe, the door, Palin herself). And mouse over the windows early because something walks by the window that you won't want to miss. Also, let me just say that you could play a drinking game to this website. Keyword: Maverick. Best expressed through the Top Gun poster I think. (You'll have to look for it.)

And I'm sure I've mentioned it before, but I love love love Tina Fey as Sarah Palin. I love tina Fey in general, but if this will boost ratings of her show 30 Rock, I'm all for exploiting this character as much as possible until the election. Tina Fey love aside, I love the fact that this website has reference to Tina Fey. (Look for it when you find Katie Couric) Also, the way she chooses baby names I'm sure has to be close to her real method. Her commentary was also dead on. I might be a little sad when Palin falls off the face of the global warming earth into the arms of a hugging God after Nov. 4. It will surely be a dark day for comedy, but I'm willing to sacrifice that in exchange for a presidency that doesn't make me want to move to Canada before the United States dies.


Also, I am now just 1 degree away from being able to just straight up laugh in her face and ask the hard-hitting, important, two-part question that I think journalists like my new friend Charlie Gibson have yet to ask: "Really Sarah Palin? Are you serious?" I mean, the whole nation has to be on Pop Fiction or Punk'd or something. For reals. Where's Ashton?

Nothing more needs to be said

Please tell me you watched the SNL premiere this weekend. I have been looking forward to it since, well, since John McCain picked Sarah Palin as a running mate. Sure, I thought it would be fun to see Michael Phelps finally not succeed at something, but my first thought when Sarah came on the scene was Tina Fey. Thank you Tiny Fey for saving at least one sketch of the season opener and doing it so well, that I was satisfied with the entire episode based solely on your impersonation. It was amazing, and all I can say is that I hope Tina Fey stays on the top of Lorne Michaels' speed dial throughout this election. If you didn't see it, please watch the clip. And watch it many times because it's funny every time.